The End Of My Time On Youtube
Alexander Gordon Jahans
I’m always amazed at how genial and amicable leaving notices are. Like you’ll see huge bust ups followed by a nice blog saying “So we decided to part ways...” and I never understood how the final break can be so quiet when it comes. Perhaps that ignorance and lack of publicity management is why I got to hear?
Except now I am hear, writing that message, and I’m not hot with rage. Perhaps it helps that I don’t have a face to focus my rage upon. You see I got annoyed at the American right crowing about freedom of speech and its importance when white nazis march in favour of genocide but disregarding that very same right when the government is preventing black men from peacefully protesting.
So I made a video where I tore up a print out of the American flag while parroting the American right slogans of “Freedom Of Speech Is Important.” “The left are special snowflakes.” I expected outrage. I expected American racists to rage importantly. Except instead someone decided that this was too far and he reported it as breaking community Guidelines. Now I found this ironic but I was willing to blame youtube for this so I made a video calling this out. That video was reported and I could not upload anymore.
Fine. I thought. Let it lie. Perhaps I went too far.
Except youtube operates a three strike system. Now the original video fair enough, I don’t like it but fair enough. The second video, really not cool but fair enough, literally the same subject matter. Then the third strike happened. On a vlog. A vlog about my many many problems and how I had been getting better. That was rather showing the hand of the person doing the reporting rather too much there.
I am angry. Except I’m also tired and defeated. I cannot be fucked to deal with this anymore. I already appealed the first two strikes so it’s possible that I could speak to a person and get the strikes removed but youtube has shown its own hand too.
Youtube has fucked over great creators many times and with the whole ad debacle thing and now this, I wasn’t making any money from them anyway and what good is a place to vent when obsessed nazis are desperate to see themselves as involved in a dialogue with you. For all I know this is just some sick fiuck’s idea of a joke. Lets fuck with a depressed autistic man. Such fun. So no youtube isn’t worth it.
It’s kind of a cliche at this point to say that the moment has been prepared for but it really has. I even have a new name which the branding will go under. But no more videos, not unless I can share them to a very select group of vetted members. Heck there’s a good chance this blog itself might disappear.
The last three years have drained and broken me and I am done being stalked by fucking nazis. We need a viable alternative to youtube. We need an end to nazism and the Alt-Right but I am now just a consumer. My part in this is over.