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Sunday, 19 March 2017

The Godwinson Manifesto NSFW

The Godwinson Manifesto

A Fictitious Account of a New Far Right Perspective
As Imagined By
Alexander Gordon Jahans


I am writing to you because the multiverse is in danger. You may disagree with my tactics, you may disagree with my politics but democracy and capitalism have proved so successful precisely because different perspectives could be tried out and learned from. Freedom of speech is not just about protecting the people from oppression it is about protecting the right of the species to innovate.

Now I know what you’re thinking: Why should you listen to me? I am the bad guy. Adam Godwinson, the first intelligence in the history of the nothingness and the one so insane I am regarded as but a myth of evil by the later elder gods. I’ve done bad things, things I’m not proud of. I deserved my fate but the Farsh-nuke is dead, the Logicios are a fragment of their former glory and the United Civilisations are rapidly disbanding. Somebody needs to step up to protect the multiverse. Somebody needs the strength of will to enforce order.

I know the arguments against my approach and I know them well. I am not trying to change your mind. I merely wish to offer extra context and information so you can make the most informed decision you can. The stakes are too high to dismiss opinions out of distaste for the actions they propose. The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few. It’s the argument behind socialism and communism. It’s why the man who may be writing my manifesto as a piece of fiction in another universe would advocate my execution. It is also far more complex than “Be nice to people and don’t care about the few dickheads.”

I am writing this is in a universe where Donald Trump lost to Hilary Clinton. Many among the left and the right are very relieved. Business as normal. Carry on, nothing to see here. Except if we’re going to take back the multiverse we need troops, ships and armaments. Don’t get me wrong even Barrack Obama was more than willing to invest heavily in the military but such levels of military spending are not sustainable in the long term. I have already lost one attempt to protect Anglo Saxon sovereignty, I will not make the mistake other dictators have made of trying to start an invasive war when my supply lines are insecure.

Neoliberalism has failed the capitalist project. Our strongest nations are in massive amounts of debt and the markets held together on undeserved trust and the confidence of psychopaths.

(No, seriously, there is a larger percentage of psychopaths among the richest one percent of the world than there are immigrants working in Great Britain.)

You may not agree with the political implications of anti-immigration proponents but what the fuck do you think is going to happen in 2050 when the demographic bomb goes off? Under a Clintonite government we would be struggling to keep society running in a world where there is one pensioner for every worker in the west. The pensions won’t last, especially not when climate change delivers external shock after external shock. This is assuming of course that the world’s major countries aren’t taken out via the mutually assured destruction of massive debt. And then as we’re dealing with this millions of the desperate poor from other countries will crawl fthrough broken glass for just the hope of sleeping on our pavements.

People can afford to call anti-immigrant sentiment racist now for the same reason people can afford to claim climate change is a scam now. At the moment while the problem is starting to make itself known you can pretend it isn’t a big deal but in another couple of decades Trump’s wall won’t seem so very stupid. And hey even if you disagree and think it’s bullshit the state paying people to work would at least help the economy. That’s not important now though. A wall only buys time.

People are quick to call me a nazi and a fascist, to put a price on my head and want me dead. I can understand that. Nazi Germany did terrible terrible things and if I get my way Hitler really will look utopian by comparison. The thing nobody seems to understand though is that fascists fall. Alexander’s Hellenic empire, the Romans, the Persians, the Huns and the Khans. The British, the French and the Germans. Even the Great Logicio Empire designed to track down and tame Elder Gods fell in the end.

I am not proposing a thousand year Reich. I am proposing the collapse of the American Empire in one last desperate dash to brutally eradicate problems that threaten to destroy the world and therefore the strength of the multiverse. No sane man could do what must be done but plenty of sane men and women have pandered to the hatred I intend to exploit. The Republican party of America is already the the nazi party in all but name. Let me force them to the center. Let me force the Democrats back towards actual democracy and the crackdown of bribery and corruption in the American system. I can be the demon that exposes America’s fatal flaws and gives it the wake up call it needs.

If you vote Richard Raspberry in 2020 this is what we will do. The right to die will be passed, letting Baby Boomers absent themselves from the demographic timebomb to come. We will continue our crack down on abortion to ensure we have the workers to meet the demand of our remain pensioners. We’ll build a wall across the south that would make George RR Martin go “Crikey, that’s a bit much ain’t it?” We will annihilate what is left of the welfare state and drastically cut back the military while raising inflation and cutting interest rates so that government debts radically drop. If we can pay off the debt we’ll reinstitute the gold standard so maybe the global economy can start recovering.

That won’t be enough on its own so in 2024 we will start seizing assets and hiking taxes on the rich. The world needs to survive so the economy needs to survive so the gold standard needs to be reimplemented. Fuck America, capitalism is at stake. We’ll start selling special scholarship programmes where students effectively pay to give the government 10% of all their future earnings for life. Through government regulation we can incentivise corporations to take on students of this programme more often. We’ll sell off prisons to the private sector with the insistence of a share of profits from the forced labour of inmates. We’ll increase the war on drugs to ensure private prisons have plenty of strong workers on the production lines competing with automation.

We will also do what we can to ensure either Raspberry gets a third term or his replacement, Democrat or Republican continues to follow my lead. Once the debt has been paid down and the gold standard introduced we will begin operation Scorched Earth with an intent to ensure no other individual or set of individuals is able to replicate our actions. We will set up ‘peace keeper bases’ in Israel and the Gaza strip with the intent of facilitating fair redistribution of land to the native Palestinians. We will execute the vast majority of the black population in prisons under pretence of putting down riots. We will accidentally poison key southern states through penny pinching to weight the favour against the racist states that put us in power and kill off the potential for a militant fight back against the liberal north when it comes to power. We will destroy slums across the whole of America under pretence of countering terrorists. Something that should be swiftly found out when the Democrats come to power and used as reason to defang the American police force.

If I or one of my students is still around once the Republican Party and Conservative democrats have been purged and neutered then the plan will be for the new Democratic Party to legalise and regulate drugs, ban guns capable of fighting wars, crack down on bribery and corruption, institute Proportional Representation, pass through pro-choice legislation then institute legislation allowing one state per term of government to hold a referendum on whether it would like to secede but remain part of the trading block.

To save capitalism, to save the world sacrifices must be made. What I am proposing isn’t nice, it isn’t socially just and it will piss off a lot of people but the best the opposition can come up with is trying to buy time for automation to save us. I don’t plan on counting on technology that doesn’t exist yet to save us.

Oh and just so we are clear nobody is going to kill anyone’s fucking cats. Jews, Muslims and Trans people? Sure, hang ‘em high and have a gloat as they twitch but nobody kills cats. The cat is the internet’s spirit animal, you could flay a kid alive and you wouldn’t get as much hatred as if you killed a cat. Not that I advocate flaying children alive. Children are a valuable economic resource. You work them to death first.