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Friday, 31 March 2017

Getting Things Done - An Eye Opening Experience

Getting Things Done
An Eye Opening Experience

Alexander Gordon Jahans

My day started with frustration. I had been greedy the night before and had not saved a youtube video to watch during breakfast and my morning cuppa. I frantically scanned for something short and light to watch. Just my luck that the next Jonathan Creek in my “Things To Watch” queue was a two parter. bugger. I made do with a Hello Internet and was inevitably frustrated when I didn’t have the time to finish listening before I had to go out.

Mum was early as usual so we began with a visit to Costa. I will never like coffee. Even iced caramel lattes taste like charred dirt.

Then to the Doctor’s so I can get my testosterone jab. I cannot wait until machines take over that particular job. There is nothing less wanted than a cheery smile and small talk accompanying a painful injection so crucial to one’s sense of masculinity. I would legit rather a scowl and insult. At least I could feel outraged by abuse. The cheery small talk makes the awkwardness and embarrassment so very potent. Particularly when your mother is in the waiting room to save you walking back with your back on fire.

A shop trip was made tolerable and necessary by the reminders I implemented as part of my very first dip into the Getting Things Done mentality the night before by firing off an email the night before about sugar, diet coke and bog roll. The email might not have been seen by mum but the bothering to send it meant the action was filed under my memory under the context of shopping with mum. Knowing there is plenty of sugar for tea, diet coke and bog roll is a tremendous weight off the mind.

And then the rest of the day was screwed over by my deciding to 1. Create a short video about my reactions to recent news and my own situation. Said video was 2 hours long took hours to render and has literally only just finished being precessed by youtube for viewing as I begin writing this.

The day waa also ground to an clanging halt by a friend messaging me when I had used up my days energy, needed to recover and prioritised her over seeing to my mental health and thereby being able to better reply in future at a later time.

Then I tried to sleep, was distracted by a distraction fic idea featuring Amy Pond (Thank the gods for her) then gave up and watched some youtube videos. I remembered this time to save a couple of good youtube videos for later then got distracted by tumblr.

Then I remembered to read that next chapter of Getting Things Done.

This sort of unsatisfactory day is just what I would normally call life because I - What’s that phrase pretentious beatniks use? - live in the moment. I like to be present and deal with what needs to be done as it needs to be done.

I do the job that’s in front of me and generally consider that since every element of my life is something I do because I want to do it any actions that involve people come first. Fuck me right. My friends come first.

Except it doesn’t just extend to friends and family. It extends to anything. I am not quite as bad as my Ex who insisted we watch all of the stargate franchise in its entirety one episode after another without pausing to even watch other franchises as a little light relief but I’m not exactly great.

There is joy to be had in a good binge watch, in a splurge of skyrim or a day of just writing a short but if your life is nothing but binge it means nothing and there is nothing worth doing that you want to do. Bit of a problem when your only actual chance of long term survival requires relying on and navigating a precarious position within bureaucracy that you despise and are horrified by. My long term survival is an arduous task so I need to stop treating my life and enjoyment as something disposable because if it is, if I truly should burn up everything just for work then I may as well commit suicide right now and be done with it.

No. Getting Things Done has shown me the light. It is a system for determining and reviewing next steps. Something that I can already see proving invaluable to my long term survival and navigating that bureaucracy. It’s all too easy to tell someone to pull themselves up by their bootstraps, to tell yourself to just try harder, but knowing the technique makes all the difference.

Think about the quest, level and perk system in Skyrim. There is a grand vision and lot of places to take things but it’s always clear what the next actions are. Leveling skills leads to perks, perks are clearly sign posted as to what they lead to. The quests thast allow you to level your skills tell you basically what you need to do then give you an indicator of what to go. In other words you are given a direction and a focus.

In so much of my life I don’t have so much as a direction of where to go and what to do at any given time. I literally just do things as they come to me. Which means I make an unfulfiling and inefficient mess of things. It’d be like if you never glanced once at your quests and just tackled whatever crossed your path as it came to you. It may be fun for a bit and then you end up collecting bear belts.

I shall follow the advice set out in chapter two of getting things done and create a weekly review of things that need doing but I think I will change the way I consume media and talk to my friends as well.

No more watching youtube videos as soon as they are published. I will save them until suitable watch times for example breakfast or before bed.

No more grinding myself into dirt because friends want to chat aimlessly when I am spent. better to save the conversation for later when I actually have energy to add stuff.

There are different contexts depending on energy level and mood that require different kinds of entertainment and activities.

And of course if I apply the Getting Things Done philosophy to work then I can incorporate that in as is appropriate.

First the first time in my life I feel like I beginning to understand just how the fuck I’m supposed to go about things. I have all these ideas at the moment but it’s a sort of quantum foam of potentiality and who knows what it will collapse into but it will collapse. I’ll make sure of it.

Now as much as I may dearly want to write that distraction fic about Amy Pond I think I need to get some food and watch that Jonathan Creek.  

What Did I Miss

Thursday, 30 March 2017

Damage Report 30-03-2017

Damage Report 30-03-2017

Alexander Gordon Jahans

The worst of the storm has passed and it’s time to asses the damage.

Well okay no. The world still has 4 to 8 years of Trump, the question of Brexit still hangs in the air since the Conservative party has no fucking clue what it’s doing and the Labour party lacks the ability to exploit that, the Scots are having another independence referendum so Labour will get another pasting and and they’ll probably leave meaning that England could end up on its own with no one to trade with and no hope for our shattered economy. Indeed a lot of my friends and family are suicidal, deeply ill or in tremendous poverty and frequently a combination.

The storm I refer to is the local family crisis that resulted in my quitting youtube. Now it is mostly abated I can try to start pulling myself together. And just in time to get annhialated by the move. Joy. Still, this is the damage report.

Government social security payments are a mess and even if they weren’t they wouldn’t be enough to stop me being a financial drain on my family so the next hope is to get me into council housing or the equivalent. So yeah bureaucracy and a whole different house move going on at the same time. I’m basically coping by pretending that isn’t happenning for now. If I gather the fucks I’ll try to make it work but talk about a precarious existence. I think I’m mostly going along with the idea to keep people happy while I help them get to a stable point before I kill myself. Don’t want to bring people down with me if I can possibly help it.

Next health issues. I have been so tired. Tired enough that just eating feels like a chore. My joints have been aching and my head has been periodically in pain or discomfort. Turns out this is just life living with Growth Hormone Deficiency when you get treatment and I just never noticed because for the last two years depression has overriden any of those problems and forced me into tactics that distracted me from the tiredness and aching. The family crises stripped all the distractions away and in so doing left me aware that my default existence, even without the cold equation of my certain failure to survive staring me in the face, is one of pain and tiredness to such an extent that death would seem desirable. Still I have noticed dthat diet coke and mints alone are enough to largely medicate away the crippling tiredness at least some of the time so maybe the Doctors can prescribe something stronger and longer lasting.

Also another fun side effect of GHD, my immune system is suppressed so I basically just have constant bugs and colds leaving me further under the weather and limiting my ability to breathe by bunging up the nose so I can do even less.

And yeah I have autism which means all the formerly described problems which require seeking help thus create new problems draining on my energy and ability to live. No cure for that unless I can get assessed disabled enough to just have it all handled without my having to worry about it. Unfortunately I doubt that will be likely since. “Too tired to give a fuck.” probably isn’t considered firm enough grounds to claim disability to such an extent.

All of this is compounded by the fact nobody fucking understands it. Medical conditions are not like demographic prejudice. There is no fraternity of the medically unwell. I have good friends who are going through their own universe of hell and they just don’t understand because their problems are just so very different. I don’t expect you to understand therefore but I will try to explain.

It’s like my body is a car. This great complex machine that relies on this precise balance of inputs and outputs just to keep moving. My brain is the computer controlling all those systems but it runs off a battery. A battery that is supposed to be charged by the car being in motion. Other people, other cars, have systems where the battery is kept topped up by the car being in motion and it’s an efficient well balanced system. Like maybe the car needs a push start in the morning from a stimulant like coffee but generally speaking the system works, the car moves and the battery is kept topped up until the car runs out of fuel to keep moving for the day. My body, my car, is not such an efficient system. The battery runs out of juice early yet the car keeps coasting, occassionally topping up the battery just enough to keep it ticking over until the day’s fuel is used up.

The bottom line is that I don’t have the energy other people have, even depressed people going through hell, my body just isn’t up to it. So I have to choose what one thing am I going to do. And my friend’s response, I imagine a lot of people’s respone, is “Put it all into work.” except there is more work to staying alive than just earning the money to pay to live. There are chores that need doing to function healthily. I can’t ignore them and neither can I ignore my spiritual and emotional needs. It’s so easy to just declare “Put everything into work” but that is unsustainable. If I were to put everything into work that means I wouldn’t ever shower or empty the rubbish, do the washing up, change my clothes or mentally unload by chilling out and persuing things thast are important to me. Three months at most before I get admitted to hospital for some infection or poor mental health.

This is the point where people have a go at me for seemingly using a straw man argument but my point is that due to the tiredness from my GHD I can only work on one of these things per day. Maybe I walk as well, read another chapter of a book and do basic stuff like cleaning my teeth, applying deodorant or updating my blog if something occurs but I can’t do anything big. So if I kept a stable enough sleep schedule to have routines this is how one might look:

Monday - Shower
Tuesday - Empty Bins
Wedneday - Washing Up
Thursday - Work
Friday - Work
Saturday - Write
Sunday - Relax

So two days a week and that’s assuming I can somehow keep to a regular weekly schedule while relying on stimulants like Diet Coke to give me the energy to do each of these things and that no further family emergency pops up.

Oh and then there’s the fact I have a hate cult stalking me who periodically make desperate tries for my attention so I have to be prepared to deal with whatever bullshit that throws up.

So basically fuck my life, right?

Well not quite. I mean being dependent on the conservative government genuinely might kill me in the end but while I still live I’m reading through Getting Things Done by David Allen and already it is streamlining my thought process and helping me focus on addressing one problem at a time.

I don’t know what’s going to happen and all of this sounds really bad but, as shit a this is, this is actually a lot more hopeful than I expected. I am tired as fuck but there’s a drink for that. I am broke as fuck and a financial burden on my family but there are plans and hope for that. Dying feels more and more like a temptation I am resisting but I am resisting it. I aitn’t dead yet. 

Tuesday, 28 March 2017



Alexander Gordon Jahans

I have this sense almost of time running out. Perhaps that’s just my own tiredness with life and my increasing desire to leave all this bullshit behind. Perhaps it’s just a function of getting older. Except I don’t think it is. Capitalism is dying and the people are restless. Britain stands on the edge of a precipice and looks set to fracture utterly. David Cameron may go down as the man who destroyed the UK.

Look I’m an English man, even now, even as capitalism dies I weep for the dream of Regulated Capitalism I still love. To me, Communist is a worse slur than Cunt. I don’t like Revolution. I fear it. I see people on the left championing violent Revolution and I panic. Kill them all. Prevent the virus spreading. The only good thing that came of Violent Revolution was America and now look at them? How long before Trump crowns himself King?

Remember, remember the fifth of November. Gunpowder, Treason and Plot. I see of no reason why the gunpowder treason should ever be forgot.

Americans celebrate Independence Day and Thanks Giving. The day America was founded and the day it was discovered. The English celebrate the day the revolution failed. American heroes only die to live again. English folk heroes have failure and death built into their narrative. We celebrate Boudicca and the Romans, Harold Godwinson and William the Bastard. We celebrate and eulogise our loses.

So I’m scared. I am damned scared because capitalism is dying and it’s inevitable. Revolution will occur in Britain. I want it to happen the British way. I want the establishment to realise before its too late and make the concessionary changeover gradually. I want capitalism in Britain to fade and be replaced bit by bit like the ship of Theseus.  What I dread is the establishment’s incompetent arrogance and refusal to accept reality.

Capitalism had the edge over Feudalism because it granted power. For the upperclasses of Britain to embrace capitalism, it was made easier because it gave them more power. Post Scarcity removes power. If the poor can eat without working you can’t work them as hard and you make less money. If the poor can educate themselves and spread that knowledge to build up fame reputation and power then the power of the upper classes dilutes.

The only way the upperclasses will embrace Post Scarcity is out of survival. Because they have a choice. To be a part of the Post-Scarcity Society and an important part or to futilely fight against it and reduce their power in the new society.

You will never stop free booters or pirates because you can’t destroy something which can be infinitely created. You can obscure stuff, distract attention away from stuff or get in front of the wave but you can’t stop it. I know this all too well. Fortunately my philosophy has always been that the truth will out anyway. Yes people know where I live and those who don’t could find it readily enough but for the moment while information may be infinite people aren’t. They could force entry into my house to kill me but the moment they leave the safety of their keyboards they are vulnerable and no one is quite willing to pursue me that thoroughly. So far at least.

I hope hacktivism is the worst the revolution against capitalism and global inequality gets. I hope but I doubt. Part of me is almost thankful Trump got elected because it shows firstly that minority demographics can seize power via the internet peacefully and secondly that there are dangers to having an authoritarian president. Thank God we got the incompetant Trump now rather than a competant dictator after successive “moderates” have given the presidency more and more power. I dread the damage a left with revolution in America may have done without Trump.

Remember I myself have seen just recently that the tendency for revolution to collapse into autocratic brutalism still exists even in places as benign as fan groups on facebook. We don’t tolerate the enemy because we are traitors. We tolerate them so they will tolerate us and bloodshed will be avoided. Comparing internet safe spaces to violent revolutions isn’t fair since internet safe spaces are by their nature infinite. For all I know there’s a fan group dedicated to Laura K Buzz that is just transphobic nazis almost guiltily sharing their love for her journalism. That said the psychology of people in groups is not incomparable. Particularly when they are literally singing Les Miserables song lyrics while making the same basic mistakes of the French Revolution without irony.

We haven’t evolved past greed, hate and distrust. We haven’t evolved past the desire to consolidate and hold power. Most of us are just educated enough to understand survival lies in cooperation, regulation and compromise. I would like so many things that I can’t have and wouldn’t have even if I could have them because I understand that. Except desperation drives people to act outside societal norms. When the people are starving and can’t sleep from pain, giving them a lecture on the history of revolution and the folly of acting without consideration of compromise will not help. Again a lesson I know from personal experience. I genuinely had people ask with bafflement why I was against mob justice before someone tried to come to my defense by theorising that I had been at the wrong end of it. As if you can only be against public lynching if you yourself have been lynched.

What’s your skin in the game? Why are you prepared to tell all these desperate hurting people not to lash out? How are you hurt? What do you have to lose? That kind of rage, that of hurt, is not easily reasoned with and my autism makes me a shite negotiator at the best of times. Yet I am a fucking saint skilled in negotiations compared to the Etonian Oxbridge educated elite that will be dealing with the revolution when it comes. If you are someone who thinks having a lot of money traps you and makes you unhappy then the poor will eat you alive. Perhaps literally if you really fuck up.

I don’t want revolution. I don’t want that endless cycle of bloodshed to start up so despite being a mad so atheist I would lecture the shit out of god if he showed up I will pray to every god in the entire universe that the upper classes are smart enough to handle the changeover to Post Scarcity well. I would rather jackboots, genocide and nuclear holocaust over generation after generation destroying itself over politics.  The future of society and civilisation outranks every person alive on this planet right now. How can it not?

So yeah I’m scared. Scared that change is inevitable. Scared that we aren’t ready. Scared that we’ll make the same mistakes people always make when they are desperate. Scared that what should be a peaceful transition to utopia while begin the start of generations of violence and bloodshed. My life is not important. What you think of me is not important. The future of society and civilisation is. So I’ll pray, pray to the old gods and the new, stop the revolution before it begins. Let capitalism die peacefully. Let me die, let my country disintegrate, let millions starve and suffer just prevent Revolution. To quote a meme of me, it’s just not worth it.

Monday, 27 March 2017

The Death Of Capitalism

The Death Of Capitalism

A Future Historical
Alexander Gordon Jahans

Capitalism’s cause of death, and thus the time it started to die, is a matter of some controversy. Some argue that it was dead on arrival and all the events were inevitable given time. This is the Marxist view. Some argue that there are in fact five distinct forms of capitalism and so it was already dead several times over by the time anyone noticed. Others persist that it didn’t die, merely underwent a such a profound change noone has noticed that capitalism still serves us, or exploits us.

I do not intend to pick fights with any academics though obviously I have my own biases. I will therefore disclose that I am very much an adherent of the Paul Mason view of Capitalism’s demise. You may therefore conclude that I think Capitalism’s demise begin with the setting up of neoliberalism in the late 80s/early 90s and was then quickened by the housing crash of 2008. The poor handling of which saw that it was doomed to repeat the same mistakes until a further more devastating crash came to kill it.

However I believe there is one moment that few historians bother to note in the downfall of capitalism. After all what is one act of terrorism in the decline of a centuries old sociopolitical system of power and control? By that logic though, what importance does the bungled assassination of an individual in a small country’s royalty have on two world wars and one cold war?

I suppose we should have guessed the eventual outcome at the time. I mean really a group of individuals groomed online to use technology developed by capitalism for exploitation of leisure time destroying the center for world trade in the heart of a country that could not be more closely associated with capitalism unless its rulers were sworn in on a briefcase of banknotes? Add to that the fact that the grand master mind was a man trained by the CIA to be their asset in a proxy war against communism and was eventually killed on orders of the first black President and the symbolism could not be more thunkingly obvious.

When the terrorists coordinated by the CIA trained Osama Bin Laden hijacked planes and flew them into the twin towers of the world trade center I would argue that it was as if Archduke Franz Ferdinand got shot. What was significant in both cases was not specifically the scale of the atrocity but the importance to the political landscape. 9/11 was the first tragedy where mobile phones were ubiquitous enough to cover the devastation. How often have films and TV given us shakey cam footage of the villain destroying a building? That started here but of course its significance to the story of capitalism’s demise lies not just in being the first major instance of large scale mass connected instantaneous disaster porn.

I am English. I grew up in the 90s writing letters complaining about being bullied to Tony Blair and Gordon Brown. Even now I’m parochial enough to find myself prefering British comedy over American stuff. Even the American podcasters and youtubers I like tend to be either sufficiently ‘naturalised’ or cynical enough to be honourary Brits like David Wong Aka Jason Pargin or Dan Carlin. So forgive me if I seem insensitive or arrogant when I suggest that 9/11’s significance in the story of Capitalism’s demise lies more in the British realm than it does in the American political sphere.

It is true that when 9/11 happened George Bush and Tony Blair exploiting the tragedy led to the war in Iraq, the election of Barrack Obama on a wave of hope and outrage at Republican failure in Iraq and with the 2008 crisis. Then in reaction to the first black president, his social justice reforms and the war on terror’s daily exploitation of Islamophobia for viewing figures, to the election of Donald Trump and the re-awakening of political outrage and desire to change in popular culture.

I mean when General Leia is leading a war against a bunch of brainwashed fascist lost boys led by an emotionally unstable racist as Hilary Clinton is in the news trying to inspire hope of defeating Donald Trump and his army of 4chan trolls even the the slowest of slow people and the most uncaring of politics are liable to find themselves waking from their slumber to realise just how fucking high the stakes are. And of course the villain always wins in act 2 so to a nation raised on media a training montage of sorts for a new generation of political activists, given an awesome nickname by the enemies, rolled out. The Social Justice Warriors would play a very important part in the death of capitalism as would the militarisation of the police force in the wake of 9/11.

For Britain however the effects of 9/11 were much more severe politically. Tony Blair’s New Labour may well have been Margaret Thatcher’s greatest legacy but they were also the last semi competent government Britain would have for a long time. Lets be clear without 9/11, without Iraq, New Labour and Britain’s future as a result could have continued reasonably fine. Even given the 2008 crash. New Labour had preparations for succession built in. Gordon Brown was the Marcus Agrippa to Tony Blair’s Augustus. The successor in waiting and Blair’s right hand man. If Blair’s reputation and legacy had not been tarnished by Iraq Brown had the opportunity to pick another successor and steer the country further leftward while properly managing the crisis of 2008.

Instead Britain lost faith in New Labour and suffered first a hung parliament which put a conservative party in power with the Liberal Democrats. Then gave them such a slim majority that their leader was weak and desperate to control his euroskeptic and frankly racist as fuck back benchers so a European Referendum was called that result in Britain leaving the European Union, Scotland leaving the United Kingdom and a cascade of independence movements that destroyed not only the United Kingdom but the European Union and globalisation as a whole.

It would however take years before the malaise have described reached its final stage and that is what I intend to describe. However you define the start of capitalism’s demise, one thing noone denies is that it lingered until the forces that would destroy it reached maturity and combined to bring about its final end.

For many people for many years nothing really seemed to change. Governments would seem to change then do basically the same shit. Austerity was applied, welfare programmes were chipped away at, jobs became harder to find as automation improved. Successive governments would either champion the plight or complain about the blight of immigrants and refugees but globalisation mandated more and more immigrants as they would work for lower wages and social liberalism was a cheap way to seem better than the alternative. Crisis would come and governments would bail out the rich then shit on the poor.

All the while the seeds of capitalism’s downfall grew almost unnoticed. 4chan’s attempts at politics from gamers gate to Trump’s presidency and Brexit. The twitter hashtag protests of #BlackLivesMatter #HateBreedsHate and #Pussy Grabs Back. People dismissed the rise of political awareness as Bernie Bros, Corbynistas, White Feminism, the Liberal Elite in their Filter Bubbles or to a certain horrible creed on the message boards “Chimp Outs”.

The tone was always the same. Move along, nothing to see here. Except there was something to see and more and more people were starting to notice it. Genetic Modification created a protein plant that could be grown at home in a pot with a relatively cheap patented “fertiliser” to prevent GM plants destroying the already devastated planetary ecosystem. Scientists were able to use stem cells to create emergency transplant organs in the lab. 3D printers and VR headsets became as common as iphones, even homeless people could frequently be seen in VR mansions. Digital piracy of physical goods started happenning.

The starting pistol for the terminal phase began when one female games journalist who happened to be trans had a very very bad day and broke down on a livestream. The internet being the internet the rant snippet was freebooted and went viral. The reasons for this were obvious. Firstly the section of the internet dominated by sex obsessed virgin shut ins reacts to a female in a nerdy profession with feverish obsession born of rage, desire and a game trained instinct to attack the obvious weak spot.  Secondly the section of the internet that hates sexists immediately reblogs and champions anything that seems to promote women. Thirdly this was one of the most intelligent and eloquent minds of a generation letting rip on all the problems people tended to sweep under the carpet for the sake of their own sanity.

I cannot summarise nor repeat what was said for it would only devalue the experience of watching it for yourself. For five days she may as well have been Queen as everyone seemed to see her video blink, rub their eyes, wake up to reality then nod in agreement. Then the world moved on. There is always another disaster, another social injustice, another viral meme.

Except for the mother’s basement crowd. That rant was like the lightening awakening Frankenstein’s monster as gradually all these disparate decayed and foul things began to work together. Only the monster wasn’t driven by lust or envy. This wasn’t Gamersgate or Pizzagate, Brexit or Trump. There was no hatred of women, democrats or immigrants here. The monster that started to come to life took a tenet of an older movement and refined it to suit the new reality. This was about ethics in politics.

Then disaster struck. The climate had long since breached the 2 degree barrier and storms were common place, health problems related to breathing difficulties were common. Atmosphere scrubbers and renewable energy had quietly made staggering innovations but capitalism lay at the heart of politics and that corruption meant that pollution continued and climate change not only wasn’t fought, it was exacerbated. Until one day the inevitable happened and a storm destroyed the New York stock exchange.

The global economy tanked. Overnight disaster. Economists were woken from their reverie, as were the politicians. The world was locked in a system of massive debt. Debt that only kept getting worse as crash after crash necessitated more and more borrowing. If money worked because people trusted it meant something, that the state would protect its value what did it mean when the state kept devaluing money and was no longer trusted to protect it? Already cryptocurrencies like the ancient bitcoin were being widely used for online payments between artisans and their customers.

Global politics was devastated and the economic fixers were bought in. The Daddies of global politics turned up to tighten their countries belts. For most countries this meant a return to the status quo. More austerity, more cut backs, more deregulation, more automation and fewer jobs. Except in America.

You see America had seen Republicans and Neo Fascists come and go and thought them all failures. The president they elected was radical. He wanted to save a capitalism, to return to the gold standard. He built Trump’s wall and he built it high. It was a public works project designed to send a message, deter the inevitable immigration timebomb that was soon to explode and give the left something to focus on that would make him sound nice and safely incompetant.

Except this wasn’t Trump. This guy knew what he was doing. He obliterated all health and social care programmes overnight replaced them with a flat Universal Basic Income that included enough for a basic health insurance package. He passed right to die legislation, cracked down on Pro-life extremists and ensured states had to make birth control and abortion readily available. He didn’t care how exploitative or dangerous a drug was, he legalised and taxxed the crap out of it. Then just to finish off he slashed the government defence budget. There would be enough to take a punch if they were invaded then buy time to spin up production and launch a response.

It was this last act that perhaps changed everything. At every major turning point of european and global history America had come to the rescue. Now just as the daddies of the politics were facing the largest backlash since the 80s America abandoned them. Black Lives Matter marches started being joined by cheerleaders and nanas with their knitting. The general populace may accept that a black guy needs to be shot dead because he might have stolen a chocolate bar and things got heated but unless you’re a vampire, you don’t need to fear Buffy. Everyone is rightly terrified of grandmas but everyone is also rightly protective of them. Videos of police officers pointing guns at little old ladies and petite blondes go viral.

Then Frankenstein’s Monster enters the scene. When politicians are complain about their low pay thousands of pizzas are bought for him. They are delivered with such frequency that politicians are trapped inside buildings until security clears the boxes away. When Islamophobic political parties start milking terrorist attacks the new right can be found punching them on live tv, organising rings of protection around mosques and women’s marches. They may be highly problematic individuals but en masse they know who the victims are and they know who deserves a right good kicking. white men around the world are found beating the ever loving shit out of racist and corrupt politicians then facing the consequences with relative dignity because Bro, if you’re going to chat shit, you’re going to get banged.

At this point the political establishments of the world are freaking right the fuck out. They remember Russia and Lenin. They remember France and Napoleon. They remember Germany and Hitler. They know that powerful regimes can fall and tyrants be installed in their stead. They have seen fascism on the rise for decades but the general populace was always calm. Where Fascism seemed to win a majority most hadn’t bothered to vote but people weren’t just voting now, they were in the streets punching politicians in the face. Middle class white men at that. If the privileged were mobilising to take down the establishment then you could be damned sure the desperate would too. And America is busily not giving a fuck.

America is a country riddled with corruption and prejudice. The left have always marched there but comparatively America is prospering. The debt is being paid down, the economy is booming thanks to so many new consumers. Indeed the tax is being slowly hiked up on the richest year on year, granting more and more money to pay down the deficit while the rich hardly notice. The right to die is easing the demographic time bomb as is the legalisation of drugs since so many of the poorest are killing themselves off by overdose. This is cold hearted capitalism at its finest.

Then Google decides to announce its breakthrough in AI that can add subtitles to videos or indeed any audio on the fly by releasing a video showing off a live transcription of the livestream rant that went viral so many years ago. It was meant to be a cute little display of their new power. Hey remember that meme where someone ranted about politics live? We can transcribe that now. It was just supposed to be cutesy and pseudo topical. Like announcing a new music streaming service by playing Rick Astley’s Never Going To Give You Up during an independence referendum.

At least that’s what they claim and what most people thought was intended. The effect was to strike a match and drop it into a pool of oil. It reminded the world of all the very real problems, associated them with the brand Google and AI development then seemed to convey the message that anything said anywhere could be transcribed and searched. Something that governments could obviously exploit. Oh don’t worry we’re only going to use this power to target Islamic Extremists. We totally aren’t about to fire all Nickleback fans into the sun or anything.

Google rushed to move past the controversy and repair its brand image by highlighting its fully automated fleet of self driving Uber cars and its fully automated factory for farming GM crops and turning them into 3d printed meals for its cafeterias. Debate still rages as to whether this was conspiracy or cock up. I’ll let you be the judge.

Whatever Google intended it had now ignited the global debate on the role of politics and the effect of automation. If Google could transcribe videos automatically it would revolutionise the world as petabytes of data stored in audio could be newly crunched and factored into calculations and AI development. And if Google could already factory produce food without necessary oversight by people and already facilitate transport without oversight by people, just how much longer could capitalism last?

It was true that Google was a company that operated capitalistically by selling its users as data to advertisers. It was true that money drove them but a tool once created does not cease to exist simply because the circumstances that necessitated its creation are no long extant. This was a fundamental rule of politics. You might implement that tax hike, service cutback or supply redistribution because of one very particular set of circumstances but it would stick around when those circumstances were dealt with.

The people were smarter than they had ever been, they had access to more power than ever before and they were increasingly angry at the political establishment. It wasn’t long before hackers and coders replicated the AI for free in Open Source Code. Those with the time and ingenuity or maybe just the money and the will would try to replicate the automated factory. Open Source versions of the GM crops were developed and given out freely.

It took a few years but enough people were able to make automated zero cost farms, powered via renewable energy from solar panels, wind turbines or geothermal energy that the poor of the world started to be fed for free. As the technology became uniquitous foodbanks overflowed and soup kitchens were swamped with donations. Variations on the factory were developed. Small communes got together, supported by the first factories and renewable energy plants they built, then worked on designing systems for mass producing bandages, blankets and other supplies.

Capitalism had worked one last miracle. It had eliminated poverty. The welfare state was in tatters, the trust in the establishments was at an all time low but the poor had free food and warm beds to sleep in at night. Fantastic right. Look what great good capitalism had done? Through deregulation and atomizing the worker the entrepreneur had eliminated poverty through charity and innovation. The corpse of Ayn Rand had the world’s most powerful orgasm.

Except if the caring individual and the massing corporation had eliminated poverty why were people still working such long hours and paying so much in taxes? Why did the government think it could get away with taxing the purchase of menstrual aids when they were being mass produced for nothing? Which is about the time people started to realise you could produce guns with this stuff.

The states in Europe had seen this particular time bomb coming and they were ready for it. They embraced Neo Marxist ideas, instituted proportional representation to prevent the cult of personality endangering the public then started nationalising the companies and services that couldn’t be broken up while breaking up the monopolies that could be and setting up their own factories for food, clothing, blankets, bandages and other resources. Their message was simple. Let us be your infrastructure. Let us regulate and standardise what you could make for yourself. We won’t get in your way, we’ll do as you say and we’ll keep you safe.

The finance system continued its growth in complexity but it ceased to be an engine of boom and bust. Quietly a new kind of currency was created. The government credit. It could only be exchanged for goods at government services but because it could only be redeemed for services that could be replicated with a relative lack of scarcity it had an innate value that could not be challenged. More democracy at a local level allowed the government credit to facilitate the innovation and problem solving nature of market forces in an gage of increasing post scarcity in parallel with a dying capitalist system. Government credits could be given out as a Universal Basic Income without danger of overspend and they could be used to keep people working for the state. You wanted to work for the police shutting down AK47 producing communes because then you got to be rich in a utopia of plenty.

America was not doing so hot. It had tried to save capitalism but it was increasingly looking desperate and ridiculous. While countries in Europe had seen the danger of the gun and revolution then managed to head them off at the pass America had no such luck. Its strength always lay in its overwhelming force of arms and the fact it was financially solvent while others wasted their money on silly socialism.

Except now Europeans were undercutting America via charity and socialism. The Europeans were giving the technology to make automated food factories to the third world. Suddenly all these companies based in America that produced their goods abroad were finding their workforce striking and demanding better pay because capitalism’s atomisation of the worker doesn’t work when the worker doesn’t have to work. So now America, last bastion of pure capitalism experienced another austerity drive as its economy tanked and the last few companies raced to atomise what was left of its work force through innovation.

So now Americans are waking up to the fact that Europeans are living in a utopia while the countries they tell each other horror stories about are swiftly entering utopias as well. It turns out the answer to the demographic time bomb is raising the standard of living in the countries you are worried might come to yours. Mexico is swift to institute European Post Scarcity as well. Soon the wall comes to symbolise how trapped Americans feel within their own country.

Europeans on holiday (via solar powered electric planes) are keen to share stories of their socialist utopia and share the seeds that make their foods and bio-materials. The well off unemployed relatives of over worked Americans start setting up Open Source food factories for fun. The poor stop dying to drugs and the right to die. They start to multiply.

Noone is quite sure how but someone somewhere smuggles the schematic for a 3d printed assault rifle to America. Poor black people start carrying out marches against racism while armed to the teeth. They have had decades of playing nice, they’re done now. Trans people walk to the toilet armed because fuck it y’all fuckers had time to adjust. Suddenly the American government realises maybe this right to bare arms thing is a damned silly idea.

So the government bans guns. Or at least it tries to. It argues that in an age of relative post scarcity you don’t need a gun to live anymore. There is no need to hunt for food. There is no need to fear the home invader when the poverty that drives home invasions is no longer apparrent. When the risk of harm from a bad guy with a gun is mitigated by the ability to replace almost any organ in the body.

The problem the government has is that it picks upon a very contentious topic and then uses it to highlight how fucking crap capitalism and their government is. So AK47s are mass produced and handed out to every individual at the largest protest in the history of America since it was founded. Sure, the state is trained, the state is powerful but millions of Americans from so many different backgrounds don’t care anymore. This is an armed protest and nobody cares if they die at it. A lot will and maybe some of the government will get away unharmed but maybe they won’t and good luck explaining that you ran from a battle where cheerleaders and grannies asked you to do better and you decided to open fire.

The American Military is brought in to relieve the government. Maybe if they surround the protestors bloodshed can be avoided. Except these are soldiers who haven’t had to fight against anyone in the field and they have spent the entire time in America training to defend its citizens. Now you want them to mow down cheerleaders and grannies? No good. The American Military serves the American People not the American Government. If the American Government has a problem with the American People, the American Military is not going to side with the government. At least not this time.

And that’s how capitalism dies. The American Government negotiates a new Post-Scarcity society, pledging to open tons of factories to feed and care for the people. In return the American People turn in their guns and let the gun factories be destroyed. It is a transition orchestrated on negotiation of promises with peace only being possible when they are met. The American Government works with the people peacefully to achieve a better future where money isn’t necessary to live a good life and a gun isn’t necessary to keep you safe because trust in the state’s weapons is restored.

Oh there are still problems in the world. Desperate, ill and evil people still exist to cause problems but in an age where the data can be tracked and flagged the incidents are steadily decreasing. People planning terrorism or murder are apprehended. The unstable are given help before they can hurt anyone. People are still fallible and prejudiced but it’s a harmless prejudice. Nothing you can do will be able to take the ability to live away from that other person so you’re allowed to be wrong. Not that a lot of people are with so much information around. Anti-radicalisation sub-routines distrupt the filter bubble effect to passively prevent ignorance becoming deep seated prejudice.

At the same time technology is helping people meet like minded people. Recommending based on interests and personality, organising transport to ensure face to face socialisation occurs. The age of the shut-in who can’t afford to leave his house and stays in playing videogames and masturbating until his loneliness has become contempt is over. The nerds are happy.

Anyway I hope you have enjoyed my take on the events surrounding the death of capitalism. I always liked capitalism myself and so I can’t help lamenting a little at its passing even if what we have now is just quantifiably better. Goodbye for now. I’m going to go play that new Firefly video game. I’m so glad they rebooted the series. 

Saturday, 25 March 2017

Starting Over

Starting Over

Alexander Gordon Jahans

The past few weeks have been hell, they have made death seem like a really nice luxury that I can’t afford. Autistic people do not make good nurses. I certainly don’t. I have felt tired, worn out and beyond the point of caring about myself. I have had to sacrifice everything just to have a hope in hell of making it through and *fingers crossed* I think the worst is over. At least for one stage. I mean my abusive father is coming back home for a few days and then there is the question of moving house and all the trials that will contain but for now there is light and hope. A chance to catch a breath and relax before the next wave of bullshit breaks.

So what’s next? Well I’m watching Parks and Rec and Jonathan Creek but more importantly my copy of Getting Things Done by David Allen has at last arrived and I am hoping that if nothing else it will give me a solid place to start from when it comes to managing to be productive. And oh god that is all one sentence isn’t it? Fuuuck.

I swear with less energy my writing becomes less focused and I am so tired still. I have a finite amount of will power per day. A finite amount of good thinking and work I can do. So welcome to the run on sentence. The only reason this article is an in anyway composed is that I woke from a nap 2 hours ago. Growth Hormone Deficiency is a bitch. And I just offended a very good friend of mine when they kept probing as to how I felt about life I told them honestly that I am in effect waiting for the least bad moment to let myself die and they raged that since they felt my biological untreatable condition was like their psychological treatable condition I was therefore saying that they should die because I was too tired to think of managing to fight on forever. That is a mess of a sentence but I’m moving on. Brain’s a trashfire at the moment.

I’m not going to kill myself anytime soon and for all I know it’s like Sam Vimes freaking the fuck out about what a monster he is when Sam is the watcher that watches the watchmen and wouldn’t ever actually allow himself to ever slip up. Maybe I’m a lot stronger than I think I am. Maybe I’m telling myself fairy stories to keep going because the yawning mass of eternity seems way too intimidating right now. I don’t know. All I know is my bones ache, I feel so tired and I don’t have the strength of will to talk to my friends or eat food some days. I’m just trying to cling on until people stop leaning on me for support. Maybe when that happens I’ll have the strength to pull myself up off this ledge but I’m really not focusing on what happens after.

So I’m going to play skyrim, listen to audiobooks and chill the fuck out. I’m going to read this book and try to pull my life together. I’m going to watch good tele and try to be me again and not the wreck I have become to support people. Maybe the money will be found. Maybe I will be able to live out the rest of my natural in relative peace. Maybe. Maybe.

I don’t honestly feel like maybe’s reason enough to optimistic but the people I care about don’t want me dead so I am going to try my fucking damndest to see the beauty and love in a world that is dying and likely to take a lot of us with it. I’m sorry for being a fuck up, I’m sorry for making so many poor choices and doing so many stupid things throughout my life but I aitn’t dead yet.

Thursday, 23 March 2017

To do 23 03 2017

1. Emergency To do list
2. Eat main meal
3. Sort out podcasts - Find something worth bingeing
4. Chase up Amazon. - Where the fuck is my copy of Getting Things Done by David Allen? It was due to arrive on the tenth March and even the package tracker still says "Expected 15th March" What the fuck?
5. Play Skyrim or Civ 5. Chill the fuck out.

In Time:
1. Find new Productivity books/audiobooks/podcasts to experience. Get your shit together.
2. Empty rubbish from room.
3. Finish script on history of fascism and revolution
4. Redraft and upload short story titled Social Justice Warrior.
5. Explore options for Blogger - make navigation to fiction easier
6. Get Omnifocus on ipad - I need organisation

To finish:
Robert Gordon Banks - episode 2 codenamed the Predator
Weresylph Dawning Part 1.
Farsh-nuke V Raspberry Episode 2

Short Story Ideas:
The Bam-Kursh Combo Collection Advert
The Best Friend Vacation Experience
LaBologna and Shallattensberg - A history of fantasy politics and racial tensions
Draco - A Weredragon superhero
The Eternal Bond - fanfic about a Farsh-nuke James Bond.

Article Ideas:
The rage and suffering of the immortal - From the Doctor to Dracula - What this can teach us about mortals coming to terms with mortality
A brief history of Political Revolution - Why they fail, why thery succeed and is there a blueprint for success
Living with autism - aka Autistic People Aren't As Superior As I'd Like
Vegetarianism and Vore - The fetishisation of barbaric cruelty normalised by society
How to save capitalism - A desperate Hope
Why Do I Now Like Puns? - Sincerely my sense of shame
Why Blondes - An analysis of why I pick the features to fetishise in my fluff fics.
Escapism A Guide -From fluff and romps to nihilistic fantasise and the masturbation of taking back agency in a broken system

Okay that last section was basically bullshit but my brain is currently going wibble wibble and picturing millions of shrunken immortal Amy Ponds coating themselves in maple syrup pumping themselves full of pint chocolate covering themselves in almonds then queueing up to enter my mouth. I need order. I need logic. I need a guide to how to pull my shiot together. It has been a long few days

New Media, Controversy and Post Capitalism

The Queen In The North

The Queen In The North

Alexander Gordon Jahans

So the last few days have been hell. I’ve avoided saying much overtly but evidently enough has overspilled that people have noticed. I mean when someone you’ve been eyeing as a nazi sympathising troll asks out of the blue if you can cover a subject as deep and wide as “mental health” it is clear that the sharks smell blood in the water and they are eager to frenzy.

I didn’t stop making videos because of the fucking haters. The haters are why I want to continue. I love that all these dumb mother fuckers keep turning up to get offended and exposed to left wing ideas, I love that they make me money. Sadism however is not reason enough to keep doing an activity that isn’t important when you need all your energy for family.

It is very fucking difficult being a carer when you are autistic. I struggle with neurotypical people at the best of times, when they are housebound, lonely and wracked by side effects of medications I struggle almost as hard to help and cope as Trump struggles to be President. It’s tough, very tough.

I wake up most days utterly tired, my bones aching with a massive headache and I have to imbibe caffeine just to begin to get by. Never mind that I am now the only person in the house able to reliably and safely head to the shops. Fuck youtube. Fuck my health. Fuck everything. Somedays all that matters is seeing it to the end because I swear it is just drama after drama at the moment. All too stupid to mention.

So I’ve been thinking a lot about how fucked we all are and if there is a way out of it, what can we do? You see I’m very aware that right now there is a kind of electricity in the air as everybody is just so aware that the unexpected keeps happening. Which for the English is terrifying. America may have a constitutional system designed to make politics slow and unwieldy but at least you have the myth of revolution at your founding. In England we celebrate the day the status quo was maintained and revolution failed to happen every year.

After Trump and Brexit anything could happen so with Nicola Sturgeon, the Queen in the North, declaring a new independence referendum and even fucking Wales poking its nose above the independence parapet there is very much a sense among us English that the break up of the union is inevitable and the country likely thereafter.

The Republic of Cornwall, the Republic of Birmingham and Wolverhamption. The The Kingdom of London and Surrey. The Scottish Colonies of Everything North of Birmingham. These are what I think a lot of us southern Englishers are expecting now. First we lost America, then the Colonies in general, then we lost European Power, then the UK then England. How long before the North and South of London decide they want a divorce? Or maybe villages will split in two? Streets even?

I know this seems like the ultimate strawmanning but that’s the level of pessimism we’re dealing with. Economists agree: Europe is fucked. I mean I’m sure all my haters are laiughing as they read this but they won’t be when they can’t afford to go to the hospital, they lose their job, the state denies them social security payments, their pensions are devalued to the point of being worthless then as they are made homeless they’ll find spikes in all the good doorways and then the council will fine them for existing while homeless. That is actually only a partial exaggeration as well.

So I have been having a hard time trying to think of what to say. Another reason videos have had to be scrapped. They’re taking a lot more effort than they used to because how many times can you talk for an hour about how fucked we are? I tried serialisation, nobody cares so cutting an hour long moan into 5 or ten minute chunks wouldn’t work. Also it wouldn’t help.

So I’ve been thinking about how such apocalyptic scenarios are presented in fiction and they are invariably presented as fun violence fantasies. Even World War Z has a lot of fetishism about military and political strategy to surviving and overcoming the conflict. Fantasy solution planning. Very cathartic but utter bullshit. Like yeah if zombies or robots attacked I think we’re culturally primed enough to fight back fast and reasonably well. And yes I’m calling the pissup that was the battle of Yonkers reasonably competantly. You do know who’s president, right?

Here’s the thing though, it’s going to take decades of hardship before people in the west are actually willing to be violent over politics. We have smart watches and VR porn, we aren’t about to throw all that way unless we are the people being fined for sleeping rough. Heck even then part of me thinks that with a tablet pc and reasonable warmth at night I might be able to stay sane enough that wasn’t anywhere near an option.

So while England may get carved up like christmass turkey, Parliament isn’t going anywhere. We had a terrorist attack on Parliament where less people were killed than the shark in Jaws. All lives matter but if a terrorist attack has a death toll that can literally be counted on one hand it had better include a member of Parliament, or a high ranking member of the royal family for me to care if its on the news. And I mean high ranking. That means the Queen, Prince Philip, Prince Harry, Prince William and Kate Middleton. Maybe Prince Charles if it’s a slow news day.

So no Britain is not about to descend into a psychopath’s fantasy of violence in the streets. Not really. Capitalism is going to take forever to die. Things are just gradually going to get worse and worse, harder and harder until one day disaster strikes and it’s over. And disaster is coming. The ticking time bombs of demographic shifts in rich and poor countries, national deficits, climate change and technological unemployment are going to make things steadily worse and worse even if we had good governance.

So what do we do? How do we win?

There’s a line in the Doctor Who story Earth Shock, one I haven’t actually seen, that says. “The small beautiful things are what life is all about.”

I finally understand that line. It’s the beauty of a clear sky and early morning light. It’s  the feeling of trousers that are hanging just a little loose when you still feel full. It’s forgetting to eat because you’re so engrossed in your writing then having the glorious sensation of a well deserved meal at the end of a long day. It’s the first sip of diet coke in the morning. The swelling sensation from deep within of a climax that has been properly cultivated. It’s the cringe and smirk you make at a youtuber’s pun. The moment you realise you’re so engrossed in a game you’ve missed what a podcaster said. It’s when you are just so overcome by how many beautioful and adorable people there are in the world.

Capitalism is dying and we are experiencing the end of an era but this isn’t going to happen overnight. We are going to vote our way out of this mess over years and decades. We’re going to shop our way towards a future where technology renders work unnecessary. It’s not going to be easy and it’s not going to be quick, a lot of us are going to die along the way. I’m still betting I won’t make it to the end of the year. We don’t know how much time we’re going to get before capitalism’s death spasms crush us but until it does, what we must do, all we really can do, is live the best lives we can. We’ll shop and vote our way out of this mess as a herd. It’ll take time but we will use that time to enjoy the little things and find happiness in dark places.

The world is fucked and we are all fucked right along with it but for now we live and we live well. So here’s to the Queen in the North, may she rule her country a damn sight better than we’ve run it. Who knows maybe I’ll even manage to get a selfie with her someday. Anyway we may not face the walkers beyond the walls and there may not be the catharsis of violence to punctuate our political struggles but at least Scotland has another chance to decide its own destiny and to that I sympathise and offer nothing but well wishes.

It is the will of the Scots that matters now, not mine nor any other southerners. Corbyn may have said far too much about it already but I hope he knows better than to speak further. This is a choice the Scots must make for themselves and I will respect whatever outcome they decide. No matter how this referendum goes the Scots will always be our brothers and sisters on the cultural stage and they can count on the good will of our people, if not our corrupt and moronic politicians.

To the future and our attempts to see it. May the gods of the Multiverse bless us all.

Monday, 20 March 2017



Alexander Gordon Jahans

There is a saying “Great Men are forged in fire.”

All men are forged in fire.

I have listened to people discussing the merits of school and they declare that school’s primary job is turning animals into humans. Training obedience and self restraint into the best. I can believe that because there is something very primal about the playing fields of school. I know of no man who did not walk away scarred. Indeed the only man I know who walked away with the least scars cannot leave the house because humanity baffles and terrifies him.

Look at the world, look at the terror which we have wrought! Capitalism! Patriarchy! Bigotry!

I see stories of parents and elder siblings talking about how children aren’t naturally racist or sexist, that they are taught it. They are self taught. No child gives a shit what adults say unless they agree with it. Boys are selfish and selfishness leads to capitalism, patriarchy and bigotry.

It’s not evil. It’s not the seed of sin. It’s just the brutal logic of survival as learned in the playground. Doctor Who Who and the Daleks taught me how to define and express bigotry and zxenophobia but school showed me. A dislike of the unlike where anything different is wrong.

If you aren’t white enough, clean enough, big enough, dressed rich enough, if you don’t speak the right way, like the right things and compete the right way then you are different, you are wrong and you are prey. In school age and rank do not exclude you from being prey. Everyone wants to rise up and the only way to enhance your standing is by kicking someone down. The great autumnal game of conkers operates under the same rules as govern the male pecking order.

Being the lowest of the low did not exempt me from the game. I was not a nice quiet kid who refused to play by the bullies rules. I wanted to win but I lost so I picked fights I knew I could win. Kids don’t care about smarts, they have fists but if you show you’re smarter than a teacher you humiliate their standing and raise yours. I bullied. Everyone bullied. Bullying was just how school functioned. I lost. I failed. I was bad at it. I was one of the boys who absented from PE to play on the computers and I can’t help wondering how much of 4chan is down to boys like me.

No boy escapes school without scars. The reason I have stalkers to this day is because of insecurities and coping mechanisms developed in response to that hell. 4chan is the bully who will stop if you ignore them. No actual bully is like that. I developed an intolerance to joking that I am only now beginning to overcome because joking was the opening move by bullies. It was a fork jabbed into a roasting pig to test if it’s ready to be devoured. I wanted nothing to do with jokers. So to 4chan I was the perfect prey.

I have done my best to forget school. To erase the reminders of it. As far as I am concerned there was Jaws, primary school then deciding to build a dalek when a life of drinking diet coke, eating pizza and watching Top Gear on Dave bored me.

Yet recent years have made me thankful for the forging I received and how it toughened me. That friend I mentioned, we stopped talking when a disagreement led to my shouting, barely a warm up voice raising by my standards and he reacted as if I had beat seven shades of shit out of him. That moment showed me just how much I have to thank those terrible years for. He would have been torn to shreds by one day at my school, never mind the life I now lead.

If had not been made to endure the fire of school there is no way I would have made it through my first year after university. To lose your friends, your agency as an adult, to attend a consultation where an endochrinologist gives a physical examination and wonders aloud if you even have balls because they are so small he’s having trouble finding them. To have to quit your only job on the first day because the pain is too much to sleep, to feel so low and hateful towards yourself then have your father insult and belittle you in a fit of rage. To realise you’re never going to get a job because it isn’t just your life that’s fucked but the whole goddamned world.

If I didn’t face humiliation and insults every day as a kid I would not have the strength to still be here because that’s what masculinity means. It’s what it’s for. The world is cold and harsh, the people are cruel selfish bastards and nature wants you dead but you find the strength to continue. You scream and you shout and you fight until the pain stops, one way or another. That’s masculinity.

The thing is in my darkest moments I have been in pain, I have felt like I deserved to die, like I wanted to be dead but I hung on. Now I am tired, my bones ache, I’m amazed I’m not already dead and there are times I am not sure I want to continue fighting but I do because my mother needs me. Because she is going through a hell of her own at the moment, my sister’s the other side of the world and I am all she’s got when the anxiety strikes.

I often find myself marvelling at feminist posts at how women can smile and passively obey when they are scared shitless. Like how can women be silent? How do they give the slightest shit what men think? Why don’t they interrupt when they know the right answer? Bollocks to Patriarchy and societal power. Bollocks to body dimorphism. We are tool users. I don’t care if he’s a blackbelt carrying an assault rifle, he’s a humaan, he will die with the right tools and training. Why do you fucking care!? Why do you smile and go along with arseholes!?

I don’t know how women grow up but I know that when my mum and my sister have told me about the bullying they have received I have wanted to laugh. It’s like when white people complain they’ve been victims of racism. Piss off, that’s nothing. I had people spit in my eyes, set my hair on fire, feed me spit coated crisps, throw books and shoes onto roofs, kick my bags around like they were footballs and shove me in ditches. I gave no shits because I had nothing and no standing and I knew it. How women can smile politely and go along with arseholes out of fear is beyond me.

I have been outnumbered, I have been stalked, attacked and threatened with rape. I did not smile politely. I outwit them. Survive or die. If you can outfight or outrun, you out think. Even my precious cinnamon bun friend who is to pure for this cruel world is quick to point out the advantages of a tactical missile strike.

Anita Sarkesian is right when she suggests that men are violent and dangerous but I don’t think the answer is as simple as training men out of this mindset. Masculinity is about survival, kill or be killed , dog eat dog. It needs updating, sure. The desperate need to earn a woman as reward for reaching manhood needs to be dismantled and destroyed.  That doesn’t mean women couldn’t do with learning a little from masculinity.

Yes, arseholes will talk about feminazis if you fight for your own space and start playing the game as well as men. This is a trait that we hate about ourselves so of course we’ll hate it in you but I think it will be better for all women if enough of them are prepared to kick for space shoutdown the shiteholes and become the top buck. That’s the sad truth of it. We aren’t a wolf pack with alphas and betas. We’re bucks competeing for right to fuck you so if you want to end patriarchy you need to get involved in the games and crown yourselves king of us. Show us wherever we are dickheads that you decide who fucks you, not us.

This isn’t victim blaming. I know men are the monsters. I just think that sometimes we defeat our enemies by learning from them. If only so we can better destroy them.

Sunday, 19 March 2017

The Godwinson Manifesto NSFW

The Godwinson Manifesto

A Fictitious Account of a New Far Right Perspective
As Imagined By
Alexander Gordon Jahans

I am writing to you because the multiverse is in danger. You may disagree with my tactics, you may disagree with my politics but democracy and capitalism have proved so successful precisely because different perspectives could be tried out and learned from. Freedom of speech is not just about protecting the people from oppression it is about protecting the right of the species to innovate.

Now I know what you’re thinking: Why should you listen to me? I am the bad guy. Adam Godwinson, the first intelligence in the history of the nothingness and the one so insane I am regarded as but a myth of evil by the later elder gods. I’ve done bad things, things I’m not proud of. I deserved my fate but the Farsh-nuke is dead, the Logicios are a fragment of their former glory and the United Civilisations are rapidly disbanding. Somebody needs to step up to protect the multiverse. Somebody needs the strength of will to enforce order.

I know the arguments against my approach and I know them well. I am not trying to change your mind. I merely wish to offer extra context and information so you can make the most informed decision you can. The stakes are too high to dismiss opinions out of distaste for the actions they propose. The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few. It’s the argument behind socialism and communism. It’s why the man who may be writing my manifesto as a piece of fiction in another universe would advocate my execution. It is also far more complex than “Be nice to people and don’t care about the few dickheads.”

I am writing this is in a universe where Donald Trump lost to Hilary Clinton. Many among the left and the right are very relieved. Business as normal. Carry on, nothing to see here. Except if we’re going to take back the multiverse we need troops, ships and armaments. Don’t get me wrong even Barrack Obama was more than willing to invest heavily in the military but such levels of military spending are not sustainable in the long term. I have already lost one attempt to protect Anglo Saxon sovereignty, I will not make the mistake other dictators have made of trying to start an invasive war when my supply lines are insecure.

Neoliberalism has failed the capitalist project. Our strongest nations are in massive amounts of debt and the markets held together on undeserved trust and the confidence of psychopaths.

(No, seriously, there is a larger percentage of psychopaths among the richest one percent of the world than there are immigrants working in Great Britain.)

You may not agree with the political implications of anti-immigration proponents but what the fuck do you think is going to happen in 2050 when the demographic bomb goes off? Under a Clintonite government we would be struggling to keep society running in a world where there is one pensioner for every worker in the west. The pensions won’t last, especially not when climate change delivers external shock after external shock. This is assuming of course that the world’s major countries aren’t taken out via the mutually assured destruction of massive debt. And then as we’re dealing with this millions of the desperate poor from other countries will crawl fthrough broken glass for just the hope of sleeping on our pavements.

People can afford to call anti-immigrant sentiment racist now for the same reason people can afford to claim climate change is a scam now. At the moment while the problem is starting to make itself known you can pretend it isn’t a big deal but in another couple of decades Trump’s wall won’t seem so very stupid. And hey even if you disagree and think it’s bullshit the state paying people to work would at least help the economy. That’s not important now though. A wall only buys time.

People are quick to call me a nazi and a fascist, to put a price on my head and want me dead. I can understand that. Nazi Germany did terrible terrible things and if I get my way Hitler really will look utopian by comparison. The thing nobody seems to understand though is that fascists fall. Alexander’s Hellenic empire, the Romans, the Persians, the Huns and the Khans. The British, the French and the Germans. Even the Great Logicio Empire designed to track down and tame Elder Gods fell in the end.

I am not proposing a thousand year Reich. I am proposing the collapse of the American Empire in one last desperate dash to brutally eradicate problems that threaten to destroy the world and therefore the strength of the multiverse. No sane man could do what must be done but plenty of sane men and women have pandered to the hatred I intend to exploit. The Republican party of America is already the the nazi party in all but name. Let me force them to the center. Let me force the Democrats back towards actual democracy and the crackdown of bribery and corruption in the American system. I can be the demon that exposes America’s fatal flaws and gives it the wake up call it needs.

If you vote Richard Raspberry in 2020 this is what we will do. The right to die will be passed, letting Baby Boomers absent themselves from the demographic timebomb to come. We will continue our crack down on abortion to ensure we have the workers to meet the demand of our remain pensioners. We’ll build a wall across the south that would make George RR Martin go “Crikey, that’s a bit much ain’t it?” We will annihilate what is left of the welfare state and drastically cut back the military while raising inflation and cutting interest rates so that government debts radically drop. If we can pay off the debt we’ll reinstitute the gold standard so maybe the global economy can start recovering.

That won’t be enough on its own so in 2024 we will start seizing assets and hiking taxes on the rich. The world needs to survive so the economy needs to survive so the gold standard needs to be reimplemented. Fuck America, capitalism is at stake. We’ll start selling special scholarship programmes where students effectively pay to give the government 10% of all their future earnings for life. Through government regulation we can incentivise corporations to take on students of this programme more often. We’ll sell off prisons to the private sector with the insistence of a share of profits from the forced labour of inmates. We’ll increase the war on drugs to ensure private prisons have plenty of strong workers on the production lines competing with automation.

We will also do what we can to ensure either Raspberry gets a third term or his replacement, Democrat or Republican continues to follow my lead. Once the debt has been paid down and the gold standard introduced we will begin operation Scorched Earth with an intent to ensure no other individual or set of individuals is able to replicate our actions. We will set up ‘peace keeper bases’ in Israel and the Gaza strip with the intent of facilitating fair redistribution of land to the native Palestinians. We will execute the vast majority of the black population in prisons under pretence of putting down riots. We will accidentally poison key southern states through penny pinching to weight the favour against the racist states that put us in power and kill off the potential for a militant fight back against the liberal north when it comes to power. We will destroy slums across the whole of America under pretence of countering terrorists. Something that should be swiftly found out when the Democrats come to power and used as reason to defang the American police force.

If I or one of my students is still around once the Republican Party and Conservative democrats have been purged and neutered then the plan will be for the new Democratic Party to legalise and regulate drugs, ban guns capable of fighting wars, crack down on bribery and corruption, institute Proportional Representation, pass through pro-choice legislation then institute legislation allowing one state per term of government to hold a referendum on whether it would like to secede but remain part of the trading block.

To save capitalism, to save the world sacrifices must be made. What I am proposing isn’t nice, it isn’t socially just and it will piss off a lot of people but the best the opposition can come up with is trying to buy time for automation to save us. I don’t plan on counting on technology that doesn’t exist yet to save us.

Oh and just so we are clear nobody is going to kill anyone’s fucking cats. Jews, Muslims and Trans people? Sure, hang ‘em high and have a gloat as they twitch but nobody kills cats. The cat is the internet’s spirit animal, you could flay a kid alive and you wouldn’t get as much hatred as if you killed a cat. Not that I advocate flaying children alive. Children are a valuable economic resource. You work them to death first.

Saturday, 18 March 2017

Going Forward

Going Forward

Alexander Gordon Jahans

I am a scifi fan. I got interested in politics because basically reality started reflecting scifi. From motion control, smart homes and virtual reality to 3d printers, cultured meat and automation in the work place. I was interested from a literary perspective, wanting to understand the now so I could predict the new.

What I found was a world where information technology was making a society based around the idea of scarcity farcical. From itunes artificially charging a price on digital data that can be reproduced functionally infinitely for free to the Amiibo artificial scarcity bullshit and the post-scarcity dimension of the internet pleading with users to respect advertising of scarce resources so that it can be supported.

This is now, not 20 years in the future, not 10 years in the future, right now scarcity as an economic model is a bullshit artifice easily ignored by people. I have listened to podcasts and audiobooks exploring all the truly crazy implications of a future built on this world. I am however a capitalist by nature. I want to earn, want to work, want to commute and in my deepest darkest fantasies ownership most definitely plays a part. These are nice or interesting fantasies. A world without work, a world beyond scarcity but I live in a world where my survival depends upon scarcity, surely capitalism will survive?

So when I read Paul Mason’s Post Capitalism the song that was sung for our salvation did not surprise me. The inevitability presented did. The scarcest things in the world today and in the future are money and jobs. We live in a world where those with fulltime jobs must be chameleonic and fundamentally disloyal to survive, a world where the majority in work live precarious on multiple low paid jobs, yet the world continues to function.

Neoliberalism has not just shattered the power of the worker, it has shattered the power and solvency of the state. Austerity drive after austerity drive, recession after crash after recession, capitalism survives by creating larger monopolies and replacing more workers with machines. And it works. Barely and painfully but it works. The wheel turns, the story remains the same and society continues to function.

But a storm is coming. Capitalism is on its death bed and barely clinging to life, it can’t survive the shit about to rain down upon it. Accelerating climate change will see external shock after external shock as flooding, hurricanes and storms devastate communities and factories. The demographic time bomb of the ageing baby boomer generation will be detonated as the ratio of pensioners to workers who must support them falls 1 to 1. Oh and then countries that aren’t as fortunate as the crippled west will inevitably find millions of their poor trying to reach the relative salvation we represent.

Even if neoliberalism hadn’t left us in massive debt and crippled the economies of the west the combination of these three factors could be enough to destroy the western capitalistic systems. And through it all technological unemployment continues apace removing the power of the worker by deskilling their jobs and altering the balance of whether they need to continue being employed.

This is a dark future but this is a very likely future. Paul Mason’s Post Capitalism is a rough roadmap of how we leave capitalism behind and enter the age of the Post-Scarcity Society. Like carpentry it advocates the principle of measuring twice and cutting once. Where Post-Capitalism requires the planning of resource deployment we will run millions of complex simulations first.

The state will act as a beacon towards Post Capitalism. We signal against privatisation and financialisation while retaining as much complexity in the system as possible. We break up monopolies where possible and turn them into state owned non-profits with socialised costs and profits where not. We nationalise the energy industries and crack down on carbon energy while making non-carbon energy make up the difference. Raise inflation and keep interest rates below it to pay down the debt. Implement a universal basic income tied to the price of labour so as automation reduces the need for work and the pool of taxable work shrinks so the UBI shrinks in response.

The goal is to combat the problems about to destroy us while speeding the innovation  that will reduce the need for work entirely. Who knows if it’s actually achievable but it’s a start. Somewhere to begin. A route out of the darkness. I think it’s worth trying.

Read Paul Mason’s Post-Capitalism. It’s an amazing book and well worth your time.

So what about me? What part will I play in the founding of this glorious future? I really don’t know. All that concerns me at the moment is staying alive long enough to see my mother settled in her new home and even that seems like an impossible task somedays. The kind of work I can do is the kind of work most swiftly automated away and on top of that my Autism and Kallman’s Syndrome greatly limit the kind of jobs I can do.

Scream “Get a job! Any job!” all you like. I know my limits. I know what my condition makes me crap at. Also frankly I’ve spent two year unemployed and I just don’t care about living anymore. I want my family safe and for them to be safe I need to be alive but once I am sure they’re safe I really don’t care what happens to me. I am so tired, just so ridiculously tired that I need energy drinks just to function. I really don’t care at this point what negative motivation is applied. I live for duty and family but I can’t pull a job out of my arse so fuck it. If I die so be it. For now I live and try to live well.

Maybe there’s hope for me. Maybe my sister and father can find solutions my tired mind can’t think of. Maybe I’ll get benefits or stumble on a job. Maybe I’ve just got the remains of a bug and it’ll pass. Maybe I’ll just get a life time supply and be done with it. All I know is that I see my future as far as my mum moving into her new house, beyond that I don’t know and I don’t actually care. I’m a pathetic ugly hypocritical genetic mistake, I don’t matter and as I’m an atheist death, just doesn’t scare me. So fuck it. Hope it’s a good death.

So here’s to the future. To those who have the strength to stay and build it. I wish you all the best and I hope my writings have been of some amusement to you or maybe even provided insight. I’m going to listen to Hello Internet and play some Skyrim. I ain’t going anywhere for a while so let me know via messages to my facebook fan page ( ) if there is anything you want me to cover in the months I know for certain that I’ll be around. That’s not to say that I actually have plans to off myself after that. Just that living through this bullshit is hard and I need a pretty good reason to put up with it beyond regrets I won’t have because I won’t be around to experience them.  

Paul Mason's Post Capitalism

Friday, 17 March 2017

A Capitalistic Vampire Hunting Ground

A Capitalistic Vampire Hunting Ground

A Distracting Setting
Alexander Gordon Jahans

Alright so this is a little different from my usual distraction fics because at this point I don’t need to write distraction fics to get enjoyment from them and more importantly clear their blockage from my mindscape. Instead what concerns me now is ideas and systems. The autist in me is as excited by the data challenges of politics as the culturally straight male in me is by submissive women.

Fascism is dull, genocide bad, punch nazis. Capitalism’s long slow death rattle and the possibility of its evolution and survival is as intoxicating as Jack Daniel’s and Diet Coke. This then was inevitable at some point, given how long I have been re-orientating my brain towards the challenges of politics and capitalism. I shall be writing this from the fantasy or science fantasy perspective as that is how I would be drawn to make use of this but I am sure with tweaking it could work for a straight up thriller or contemporary drama/romcom.

Without further ado, I present under creative commons the idea for how a capitalistic vampire hunting ground could work. Use it in your own stories and fics with my permission.

It is late 2016 and there have been two shock election victories for the anti-immigration political position. The technology already exists to 3d print buildings and island building technology already exists thanks to the super rich in Dubai. An island building technology race begins as startups race to take advantage of the desire among those with disposable income for a solution to the perceived land shortage. They gain massive investment from multiple sources by pledging to build over frackable sources of oil and gas while at the same time appealing to environmentalist concerns over sealife by pledging to sweep the sea of junk while they’re at it.

Four decades pass and the original startups are long since bankrupt and often imprisoned as the inevitable anti-isolationist backlash sees anti-immigrant sentiment classified as an illegal hostile and abusive act. A wave of far left victories over unions and regulation manages to keep capitalism limping on into a new long wave of economic theory as cognitive capitalism is born in earnest. Capitalism is still dying but now that the people aren’t chocking under its death grip the majority are more than happy to keep a largely neutered and weakened capitalism going through their own choice and desire. The power of the free market has been replaced by the fun of creation and acquisition. information may want to be free and it may practically be without scarcity but the individual delights in the idea of ownership. Megacorporations and the 1% live on but they do so with the consent of a population that could have easily dispensed with them. In this world capitalism is a lifestyle choice akin to goth, hipster or nerd. It holds power but its power is far more social than economic.

The world is a very different place than it was in 2016 but the world is about to be rocked once again when a new start up is formed. Part of the transition to cognitive capitalism was the abandonment of globalism as a political and economic ideal. In a world connected by information you did not need political inter-connectivity in quite same way. Retreating from the global economy ceased to be frowned upon. Retreating from global political oversight is not such a problem when the populace is able to share the actions of a protectionist government with the world. You don’t have to be on the world stage of politics because it is understood that your citizens will hold you to account. A start up is formed that takes advantage of this change in the perception of countries with unconventional forms of governance with the improvements in island production tools and techniques made over the past few years.

They begin with a crowd funding campaign for people to live and work on an island they intend to build with their help. They intend to build an island that is self sufficient in terms of electricity, food and other resources but that will produce an idyllic island life with, if their plans are successful, the promise of thousands of beautiful, talented and kind young people living on the island once it is complete.

This first stage of production is a definitive success with stretch goals being met that provide stables and equestrian pursuits, a theme park with animatronic dinosaurs and an artificial nature reserve so people can take a break from the artificiality and be amongst the trees. This alongside the base goals being met of a self sustaining environmentally friendly island society with amazing beaches, spas, swimming pools and a reliable high speed internet connection thanks to undersea cable.

This was largely possible because the minimum start up cost included a small society capable of producing enough electricity, food and other resources to support a much larger population. Once the base infrastructure was thus set up the project started making massive profits. These profits were split three ways with one third used to ensure the stretch goals were met while the other two thirds were banked in separate high interest rate investments.

They let five years pass before they made further action on the project. If the next stage was to work they needed the trust of the population. They worked hard to ensure everybody on the island was happy healthy and content, expending large sums of capital to ensure the original investors survived the kind of disasters that hit all people eventually. Every great expense was more than made up for by the positive ripples it had in social media once the problems were resolved.

In 2061 they contact vloggers who are out submissives and talk about the BDSM scene. All they do is talk. Seemingly anyway. It boosts their profile and causes positive attention as their plans are leaked in relation to discussions with the influencers over the demographic they intend to target. Notably they avoid the hollywood interpretation of submissive first. They want to do this right. They want to be compassionate and kind. They want a service designed to serve.

By 2065 An unofficial sign up sheet for their service is going viral. A year later they submit for open review the first draft of the legal contract users of their service would need to sign and an explanation of their business model. It takes another 4 years of review and talks before they are ready to officially begin accepting sign up to their service.

The reason for this 9 year delay between the start of contacting vloggers and opening trade on their real business model is two fold. First they are busy building a ring of three islands around the main island. Second they are securing a key number of high profile bloggers and vloggers to partake in their programme as bait.

The islands they build are an executive island for business oversight, the storing of servers, warehouses for goods and visiting family members; An island for tourists filled with ‘pet shops’, sex shops, cafes and tourist tat. This is where the submissives will arrive and have time to take in the ‘pets’ being taken around shops on leashes, with the ability to book a flight home unnoticed if they change their mind. Finally an island for the real customers of the business, the visiting 1%. A home away from home that they can retreat to after a day’s hunt on the main island.

They charge submissives a signiticant enough a sum that the poor and the desperate are filtered out for their own good. The submissives may be the products they intend to sell but such a business model, even with the legality presented by running from what is technically its own country, relies upon the complete and total on going consent of all concerned. The submissives have to be genuinely happy with the consequences of signing the contract or the business falls apart.

The company is open about its vetting process. It will allow anybody to pay their way into the programme as diversity will add to the experience for their customers but they want sales and that means they will reward submissives that fulfill their vetting criteria. Young slim women frequently find that the company is willing to buy off their debts. The effect of this encourages such women to sign up, encourages customers to sign up in response and encourages the sale of those that don’t make it through the vetting process and have to pay their own way since the company can afford to do this philanthropy by including its cost in the price to customers.

The users who make it to the island, after being vetted or, paying their way, sign a contract that symbolically intends to purchase them as assets or accept them as such but in actuality is more of a halfhearted plea not to sue and a promise to ensure they have a good experience. They are given a temporary QR code tattoo that will fade after a year and an optional wristband to wear. The wrist band is a way that users can choose to signify their consent to being approached and asked about ‘purchase’. The QR code tattoo is on the arse cheek of the user’s choosing and is how a customer would go about easily ‘renting’ or ‘purchasing’ them from the company. The placing of the QR code below the belt is to ensure that users have control over who gets to so much as check their price.

This is company’s great success. The consent inherent in the system lets them make a lot more money than if they simply treated the submissives as products. It is an expensive business to run but their greatest expenses are already paid for. The islands generate enough excess power and resources to more than pay for the initial outlay of purchases. The islands produce enough that no visitor has to pay anything yet only those initial investors and the young men and women who are seen as investments by the company use the resources for free. The users who don’t make it through the vetting process pay for their food, clothing and use of the services of the island. Tourists provide a significant amount of the income as they stay to gawk at the users who have chosen to become ‘pets’ and the customers who come to ‘buy’ them.

The customers are the 1% for whom capitalism still matters. They are charged exorbitantly just to sign up to use the company’s services. They are charged ridiculously during their time on the island and if they wish to even visit the island of the submissives they musty pay tremendously to be vetted before they can then be charged for a hunter’s license. This is so the company can pay for a thorough background check and veto anyone who might be a danger their users. Then if they are accepted and make it on the island the users may just turn them down.

The service the company offers to its users is an enjoyable indefinite holiday come dating experience to find the perfect sugar dom.

The service the company offers its customers is the ability to enter an island with an abundance of young beautiful submissives who have signed up to be ‘bought’ if the right customer comes along. Customers have the option to ‘buy’ a user outright from the company, reimbursing the company for every penny spent on the user, with a significant finder’s fee. Or they can partake in ‘catch and release’ where they pay to ‘rent’ a user for a time and enjoy them, with the user’s consent, on any of the company’s islands. There are hourly, daily and weekly rates. Including the option to ‘reserve’ a user by paying to request their availability and be notified if a different customer looks set to ‘purchase’ them. The effect is to allow customers to have holiday ‘pets’ they can see year after year provided the user feels suitably encouraged to remain free on the island and not go along with another customer. There are occasions when a reserved user with a history with a customer will find themselves falling for a different customer and the customers arrange a similar time share system between each other to the satisfaction of the user.

It is not unusual for users on the island fall in love or make such strong friendships they they insist on being ‘sold’ together to same customer. Something the company accommodates by offering reduced rates to customers who ‘bulk buy’. This helps their reputation among users and customers since users who have been ‘bought’ will frequently talk on social media about how the experience turned their lives around and let them find and live with awesome people. It helps their reputation among customers since they blog excitedly about getting harems or they write articles about how ‘pets’ are best ‘purchased’ as a group so that they can keep each other busy while the customer focuses on their work.