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Monday, 11 November 2013

Memorial video

Thursday, 31 October 2013

The suicide of Gordon Jones

Tuesday, 27 August 2013

On world building and the nature of televisual enjoyment

I have watched two things lately, the marvellous reviews by SF Debris and series 1 of supernatural. 
I enjoyed the first but not the latter. I assumed this was just because Supernatural was badly written, poorly acted and rather discriminatory but then I watched Buffy and I realised another factor: Genre Preference.

Now scifi and fantasy are so close as to be practically indistinguishable, especially at the pulp end that there's little actual difference between something like Doctor Who and something like Supernatural. Hell both have taken on shadow monsters and the only real difference is in the nature of the fictitious explanation "It's a ghost so we find its corpse, salt it and burn it" "You're smart, you can make that space suit walk so you can make it talk to, in which case I'm the Doctor and you're in the largest library in the universe, look me up"

The thing is though I don't actually think Doctor Who is that great a show. I owe it a great debt for turning my life around but what made me a whovian was the books, which did what the shows SF Debris reviews do: World building. 

Doctor Who the TV show is a genre machine but the Doctor Who books tell the story of a great and horrific universe one slice of time and space at a time. That's what I love. That's why I want to watch the post next generation Star Trek, that's why I want to watch Farscape and Babylon 5: World Building

I'm tempted to throw in a joke here about the reason I love world building being that I love The Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy or make a pretentious statement that world building is just wonderful or a necessity but that's rubbish. The TV series of Doctor Who might sketch out a little of the world and accrue continuity over time but it doesn't need the kind of world building I'm talking about to be fantastic. Equally while I detest A Game Of Thrones for being an overly long, overly expensive, boring piece of drek that's insulting and vile the one thing it does do is world build.
No, the reason I love world building and find it adds to a piece is that I am sorely deficient in it as a writer. I am studying creative and professional writing at university, so my writing is a bit of a big deal for me and my problem has always been basically that I had this cracking idea for a multiverse but zero confidence about what to put in it. I want my series to be plausible and rationally explainable, if complex and screwy so I am very hesitant about putting alien races out there. 
I don't want my races to be insulting stereotypes made flesh and I'm torn between making aliens that are truly alien thus cool and realistic or aliens that are humanoid thus easy to empathize with and more plausible. Realistic here meaning 'likely to happen from a science perspective' and plausible 'expected to happen from a viewer perspective.
More than that though there's the issue of having multiple sentient races per universe butting heads with those that dwell in the multiverse. I want/wanted to write the next Doctor Who, a weekly problem of the week show that accrued continuity over time but a more adult series with serious character development. Fitting gags, character development, continuity build up and serious multiverse building is a huge task. A monumental, hide under the covers task. One I don't want to face head on.

Watching scifi shows with world building though shows me what I am facing indirectly. It lets me see where others have succeeded or failed in the own universes so I can begin putting things together in my own multiverse. I am not a great writer yet and it's arguable that I'm not even a good writer but through these great scifi shows I can become just that little bit greater and ultimately that's what Buffy, Indiana Jones and Supernatural lack, the benefit to my vocation.

Monday, 19 August 2013

Serious Buisiness

I got into reviewing by accident and it has somewhat taken over my life. I write reviews, record reviews and watch reviews. I love reviews. Primarily because they're the one instance where someone can trulyt tell you their opinion of something without challenging you to a debate.

Of late I've started watching the marvellous SF Debris on Blip. I've actually nearly caught up entirely I love his reviews so much and here's what I love. He doesn't judge, he's not divorced from the will of the people but he's not controlled by them either. He can do funny reviews, positive reviews, negative reviews and even occasionally serious reviews. Serious reviews that make reviewing a serious business because he's not just riffing trash, he's debating big issues such as eugenics, the possibility of making contact with alien life and nuclear war. These are topics I now want to cover just to throw my own two pennies into the ring but first my channel needs to undergo a serious upgrade.

Firstly I want to find a way to import my dvds so I can edit them. 
Then I want to have proper series, not just off the cuff ones, though I might still have those but scripted series with a long production. I want to have an official feedback series where I gather up comments, read them up and respond to them. For too long I've been putting myself down, putting out substandard work because it's easy and complaining when it's called out. I'm not sure how or when this will happen but in the meantime in the comments below suggest comments you'd like to see me talk about in a serious series.

Monday, 8 April 2013

Reaction/review of The Bells of Saint John

Crash Review

I think Crash is a fair representation of predjudice on the big screen. I think it is well acted and well directed with a good music score and some nice character beats but I think it is a very dull and boring film where shit just happens. This isn't a movie, it's car crash in slow motion. It gives you the feels but it doesn't do anything plot wise.

Wednesday, 3 April 2013

WTF is Green Nothing Productions?

Landa Pictures has pulled out of making Green Eyed Nothing

Green Nothing Productions needs your help to make Green Eyed Nothing a reality

Well Luke Tedder has left the building. Green Nothing Productions now needs a new producer to oversee production of the series. Call it creative differences, whatever.

I almost see this as a shining opportunity as it means I can have a more hands on approach to the series but for this to work I need crew and cast so if you've been following this and think you can help be it through props, make up, filming, acting or directing get in touch.

This is only going to happen if people want this to happen so even if you think all you can do is pledge moral support let me know. If enough people are interested and I find a director who has a similar or better vision than I and we may look to crowd sourcing to provide the first series with a budget.

Scripts available on request.

Interested in doing something for Green Nothing Productions that's unrelated to the series, be it merchandising, advertising, a book series, podcast or something else let me know.

Thursday, 28 March 2013

RPG in real life

Okay this isn't about an alternate reality game or even any specific game or rpg at all. This is just an idea inspired by the awesomeness of suspended orders at coffee but it is a biggy.

What if we could each go on a real life rpg adventure?

Not that original I know but I'm a scifi writer, I try to explain away magic in terms of science so here are the details. I'm not saying this idea is without faults or immediately ready for testing but it's a step in the right direction.

What is your definition of a real life rpg adventure?

After preparing a few months and years in advance you take off to a new town or country armed with nothing more than an identity card, a back pack and the relevant paper work. You turn up at the local tourist information center and your papers are verified. If everything's in order you're given an app for your smart phone/tablet that will let you instantly get hold of a fellow participants contact details by scanning the qr code on their identity card so you can keep in touch with any new friends you make. 

You are then shown to a hostel, inn or hotel where you will receive bed and board in return for a days work experience wherever you're staying. After that initial night you can either either pay to stay more nights for convenience and peace of mind or head to the local tavern for a quest. Otherwise known as a short term job that pays currency only participating premises will accept to stop you from using it to buy items which would lessen the experience, that or buying too many sweets. 

Experience points will be rewarded along with currency, with a bonus modifier applied for the diversity of your quests. That way you could keep applying for the same job time after time if you really like working there but you're also encouraged to try new things and add more to your resume.

Aside from quests you'll also be able to take part in side-quests. Otherwise known as guided tours of beauty spots that'll push your body to its limits. 

After earning a certain amount of experience points you'll be able to spend skill points and partake in short classes that teach you various basic skills. 

There'll also be many competitions where you can use your favourite subjects from school, college, university or work to earn currency and experience points. 

When would it happen?

Probably in the summer and certainly that's when the most RPG like aspects would take place but if it gets big enough it might become a new kind of gap year.  

What would be the point of it?

Meet new people from all walks in life who have something huge in common with you. Since all participants are screened before they get their identity card, it provides a safe environment to interact in.  It will give students a way past the first hurdle of getting a job, that to have one you must have already had one, since this provides many short term low paid jobs with the express purpose of giving those fresh out of university or about to enter a job. The variety of experiences involved would also add to ones CV and vastly enrich the new generation of first world children.

Why would someone want to partake in what is effectively a dressed up gap year?

It would be fun, hopefully with all the community spirit of a convention like Gallifrey One but for a wider demographic, catering to a much larger audience and providing them with new experiences, skills and chances to travel safely, cheaply and comfortably as they're encouraged to be the kind of person who always orders twice as many suspended coffees as they buy actual coffees.

Think this idea has already been met or want to help make this a reality? Let me know in the comments below. 

I am Gordon Jones, a writer more usually found at or and I am currently in production of a review series on the Virgin New Adventures of Doctor Who and scripting a scifi urban fantasy web series called Green Eyed Nothing in association with Please check out those links as that would make me very happy.

Saturday, 23 March 2013

The Dark Knight Rises Review

The Dark Knight Rises is not a fun film. It is not satire, action flick or a campy romp. Nor is it covered in an anvilicious moral sentiment. The Dark Knight Rises is the best batman film there has ever been and objectively it is a very great film.

Yes, there are plot holes, yes, it is slow, yes, the Joker's shadow hangs over the movie like a bad penny but that's the point. This is the movie where Batman dies only to be reborn like a phoenix from the ashes.

The fact that it isn't enjoyable only immerses you further into the world of The Batman because Bruce Wayne is not Tony Stark, he does not like being a playboy, being so shallow. For Bruce Wayne giving up being the Batman is killing off a part of himself and like any actor who plays the Doctor he wants his final bow to be his most heroic yet.

As for how they're not recognised? Well presumably the clean slate virus hangs around. Then there's the fact that Alfred will attest to his demise and the Batman will be back in Gotham, meaning that after a while no one will care that Bruce Wayne may or may not be back and even if they do, Bruce can probably handle things.

Neverwhere part 1 review

Like a fantasy Dirk Gently Neil Gaiman's urban fantasy is subject somewhat to Seinfeld is Unfunny as I see things I've heard in Undone and read in the River's Of London books. The over world and the under world, people who fall through cracks becoming unpeople, anthropomorphic representations of places as deities, hell rats being considered above people is straight out of the hitchhiker's guide and while I get the feeling this was supposed to be wondrous and strange, it just felt like a pleasant but dull filler episode. 3 stars not as good as people think.

Tuesday, 19 March 2013

Sweaters for Days: "I didn't know exactly what rape was."

Sweaters for Days: "I didn't know exactly what rape was.": TRIGGER WARNING: This blog post and the article linked in it will contain graphic details of the Steubenville rape case and may be triggerin...

Tuesday, 26 February 2013

SkyFall Review

This is a great film with some odd quirks. Where Casino Royale was obviously inspired by the Bourne franchise this film feels very Torchwood and that sounds so odd.

It opens with what tvtropes would call a Batman Cold Open but is very like the typical opening to Torchwood, a cold open where we see the team working together as one smooth and efficient team, only for the plot coupon of the week to ruin things.

Bond saying his hobby is Resurrection is very Captain Jack and it seems he's adopted the former's habit of stalking high places, even his omnisexuality. Plus the episode ending with a partial revelation about our mysterious hero's origins is consistent with series one and two.

The episode focusing on one particular character who is about to kick it is very Torchwood. Not to mention the magical hacking wars with Toshiko's action genius role being split between Q and Moneypenny respectively.

The villain being an obvious ripoff of the Joker who mirrors and slash baits the hero is again very Torchwood.

At one point Bond even name drops the Doctor. A storm is coming indeed.

Ironically despite being a brilliant example of how to do Torchwood right after Miracle Day, it does actually have a very inferior basis for a story and on a Torchwood scale Children of Earth beats it by miles, even if I'd rather watch this again.

A very good film, a great film but very much a Doctor Who spinoff in nuance and plot, which probably isn't Bond.

Monday, 25 February 2013

Full Metal Jacket Review

This is a very well made film, with Stanley Kubrick directing it, how could it not be? Masterfully acted, amazing music and subtle yet effective special effects. I hate it. I loathe this film from the very pit of my stomach. I would rather watch every slash bait scene between the Doctor and the Master on a loop for the films length than watch this amazingly made piece of bile again.

The reason is simple. This film is about the horror of war, a war history tells us was a train wreck anyway. It is very effective at showing how bleak, dark and horrific war is. It makes me feel sick, scared and lonely. I wish I had never seen it. I am a writer and I abhor violence, which means having friends from soldier families can get a bit tense. I did not need to see this to know that war is bad.

Monday, 28 January 2013

American Beauty Review

What a pretentious piece of shit!

Oh don't get me wrong I know that's pot calling the kettle black but at least when I'm being pretentious there's some actual action going on. I may make a diatribe about how we treat pets is wrong but at least I add some dramatic tension courtesy of a cannibalistic anti-hero.

This movie plays out like a very bad episode of My Family and expects me to feel moved.

The very best I can say about this movie is that it MIGHT be self aware as at one point we watch two people watching video of a paper bag blowing in the wind as a drug dealing stalker of a boyfriend talks about the beauty of the world,

Don't get me wrong I know the complex science and mathematical equations that explain why the bag is moving the way it does is beautiful but the bag moving in the wind itself? That's rubbish. Literally rubbish. And the film calls back to that moment in the end as if it's some big and important revelation.

Rise Of The Planet Of The Apes Review

Wow! Just wow!
This is a powerful movie.
James Franco gives off a powerful performance.
The CG is top notch.
Caesar really feels like a fully fledged character and his story is a real rollercoaster.
John Lithgow gives an amazing performance and Tom Felton is slimier and more unlikable that he ever was in Harry Potter because here he really feels like a real person, instead of a moustache twirling villain.
The premise is a little like Deep Blue Sea and the events of Bloodheat. What with making the monster of the movie intelligent in an attempt to cure Alzeimer's and a virus being used to wipe out the human population.

Saturday, 26 January 2013

Batman and Robin Review

This a bad movie, a cheesy movie, a movie with a large ham villain and a ridiculous plot. but it's got a sense of humour. Those shitty pun jokes Mr Freeze always makes is the movie's way of saying "Yeah this is stupid but we're having fun".

It is a damn sight better than Batman Returns and I actually kind of enjoyed it. 

Friday, 25 January 2013

Batman Forever

This film is stupid. Doctor Who stupid.

The villains are such scenery chewing large hams, the costumes are ridiculous, the plot nonsensical but by Zarquon I love it.

This film is fabulous and wonderfully hilarious. It's not like Batman Returns where they're expecting you to find a world of penquin people and a cat person serious, terrifying and foreboding. This is pure campy fun.

Val Kilmer is a fantastic Bruce Wayne and Batman. He humanizes Batman and hardens Bruce Wayne. A terriffic actor.

Chris O'Donnel as Robin is inspired and I love his character and the in-jokes 'Holey Rusted Metal, Batman!' floored me.

Nicole Kidman is a fantastic actress and plays the best love interest for a Batman I've yet to see. She isn't just a pretty face, she's strong and intelligent but really has a kind of bile fantasy when it comes to Batman and its one I can understand. The things that frighten us and terrify us are the things that fascinate us and drive us. Plus on the less cerebral level she's a damn site hotter than the love interests in Batman Begins, Dark Knight, Batman or Batman Returns IMHO.

Tommy Lee Jones as Two Face doesn't get anything like the brilliant depth of character or origin Harvey Dent had in the Dark Knight but he was fun and evil with a brilliant explanation at the beginning of his psychoses.

Jim Carrey as The Riddler is hilarious and kind of realistic. I know that seems like a stupid thing to say since it's Jim Carrey Unleashed but his motivation as a cloud cuckoolander ego maniac who took his man-crush turning him down badly is something that I think many a fanboy has had to deal with at some point and indeed at the beginning his portrayal as the fanboy nerd is rather like Lee Evan's Portrayal tas the Doctor's fanboy in Planet of the Dead.

Honestly I prefer this film over The Dark Knight. I know that it's crap compared to the technical and acting brilliance of The Dark Knight but this was my kind of film, stupid but fun.

Wednesday, 23 January 2013

Batman Returns

This is a horrifically bad film. The only good thing about it is the music score.

Catwoman's origin makes no sense and an explanation is only barely handwaved as "Umm, cat's ate her so she has the soul of a cat" or some bullcrap along those lines. When we're first introduced to Selina Kyle she's almost a parody of a sexist interpretation of women. She's clumsy, says the wrong things, has a bad memory,  is left by a man and opines not having a man in her life. Even if you look past the clear negative portrayal of the only woman of any real note in this film then there's the fact that her initial attitude is more like Peter Parker than it is Catwoman. Catwoman is strong, sexy and independant, like a cat. Selinea Kyle in this film is none of those things.

The Penguin is hilariously bad, being more like the Moriarty to Batman's Sherlock Holmes than he is a shrewd and corrupt rich man. Going for the whole distorted mirror thing is a great way to create a nemesis for a hero but penguins? Seriously? Penguins are eaten by shark food. They are not in anyway intimidating. The Penguin being a penguin man is grotesque and horrifying sure but the film never tries to use that to its advantage.

Christopher Walken as Shreck is given some horrendous material but he plays the part so hammily that the film almost becomes so bad it's good.

Michael Keaton's return as Batman is as excellent as it was in the last film and it's nice to see Batman be the straight man but why on earth was this film called Batman Returns and not something like Batman II The Catwoman, The Penguin and Christopher Walken. The film is not about him and he never left so why Batman Returns. Again I lament the lack of exposition regarding his gadgets though an explanation is shown if not told.

This feels like much more of a Tim Burton film, far more gothic and far worse because of it. Batman is a dude who dresses up in a techno suit, Catwoman is a cat burglar and the Penguin is a fraudster. It looks stupid when you ramp up the melodrama and turn things gothic. Batman Returns is not frankenstein. It is not a film about mobs armed with pitchforks and flaming torches chasing down monsters. Nor is it a film about ghosts and horrifying monsters we cannot hope to understand. This is a film about a penguin man. It is shit.